There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
