You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize