If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
