white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
