We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
