I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
