what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
