I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
