I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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