A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
