So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
