Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
