She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
