Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm too high and old for this...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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