Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
