She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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