I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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