so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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