brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
