Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
