I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
