Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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