Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
