Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't make out with my wife yet
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
