You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
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