I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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