I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
