She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
