does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
