3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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