My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
