Pappa wants mamma naked
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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