worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
