its not stalking. its research.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
