I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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