Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
