You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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