your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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