billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All the doctor said was why
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
