At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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