If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
everyone is single if you try hard enough
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
