you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
