I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
