are you still at the devil's house?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
