Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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