I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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