so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
