Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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