After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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