I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
