Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
