He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
