you didnt know i had herpes?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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